Long Distance Grandparenting

When grandchildren live close by, connection feels simple. The shared meals, school events, weekend sleep overs and those spontaneous hugs when you least expect it. But then, life shifts and either they or we move away. The ache of missing those moments and knowing they are far away, reminds us of how much a part of our lives they are.

When our grandchildren recently moved out of state, we felt like we would miss out on one of the most important seasons of our lives. Then we realized that even if the closeness of proximity changed, the closeness of our relationship didn’t have to. I once read somewhere, that love is not measured in miles but in the effort we put into staying present in each other’s lives.

I have asked some friends of mine who are long distance grandparenting how they are staying connected with their grandchildren. It turns out, with a little creativity, grandparents can weave themselves into the fabric of their grandchildren’s everyday life. From technology to traditions, here are a few ideas to keep you connected to those little ones so they know they are loved, remembered and cheered on.

Story Time

There are many benefits to reading to children. Reading together creates a special bond and connection. It helps with language development expanding their vocabulary and listening skills. Books open new worlds, encouraging children to dream, picture possibilities, and think outside the box. It helps with cognitive growth and academic readiness. Reading can also can help with stress relief. It provides calm and comfort, creating a soothing routine. You can still be a part of this routine even when your grandchildren are far away.

Have your grandchildren pick out some books from their local library and have mom or dad send you a list so you can do the same. You can buy two copies of the same book and send them a small package with a book plus a “story time surprise” - like stickers or coloring pages. You can also just record yourself reading their favorite bedtime story so they can listen to you anytime, even when your not on a call.

For your grandchildren who are emergent readers or beginning readers, go through a page at a time and find sight words. You can also do the reading and have them follow along. If they are a more veteran reader, take turns reading pages and then have a discussion about what was just read. For older children, they can choose a classic or even a young adult novel depending on their age. You can scheduled a video chat and enjoy your favorite snacks while discussing the book. It would be like having your own mini book club. You can even come up with a clever name for the book club that you both choose.

Here are a couple websites I’ve found with book suggestions for various ages to help you get started.

Bridging The Distance With Letters

A nice way to stay close to your grandchildren, even far away, is by exchanging letters. While texting and video calls are wonderful, there’s something special about getting a letter in the mail. Both you and your grandchildren will look forward for that next letter. There are so many benefits for your grandchildren as well. Writing letters gives children a chance to slow down, reflect and share more then a quick “hi”. Letter writing develops essential cognitive skills. It improves grammar, vocabulary, spelling and sentence structure. I can continue with the benefits, but the most important, is that it keeps them connected to you.

Long distance prompt cards are a great way to start the letter process going. Each card holds a fun question or idea to spark a topic of a letter. It makes it easier for children (and you too!) to know what to say. Over time, these letters become keepsakes. I’ve attached a digital download of Long Distance Pen Pal Cards. All you have to do it print them out, cut them into cards and take turns sending one in each letter . These will get you started with the tradition, then you can pick topics from there.